How do I explain it?

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I could tell you all I did this summer. All that happened and it would sound like a terribly hard summer. You would hear about times of sheer joy and laughter, times I laid on the ground from sheer exhaustion, and times I wanted to punch something from sheer frustration (once I even did punch things, but that’s a story for a different time.) I’ve never been more physically, emotionally, and mentally drained in my life.

But how do I explain to you how much it meant to me? How much the people in the Dominican touched my heart. How much this summer changed my life.

Yeah, Dominicans can be overwhelmingly aggressive at times, but they’re the most passionate and welcoming culture I’ve ever experienced. Going to IBQ -Iglesia Bautista Quisqeyana- was like going to my home church. Every week I went I knew more and more people and it felt more and more at home there. Even the weeks with no translation, just solely Spanish, I loved it. Spanish is really a beautiful language. It was such a blessing worshipping with them every Sunday. During the welcoming time, I’d be hugged by strangers and friends alike. I even got to help in the nursery a couple times. They welcomed us into their church like the body of Christ should – with open arms.

Dominicans are genuine. They’re not caught up in what they look like – although they know how to look sharp- but they care about the person. They’ll tell you how you really are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I learned a lot about myself this summer just from the random honest comments my Dominican friends made to me about myself. Sometimes it was a little harsher then what I’m used to in America, but it opened my eyes to a lot. Then when I’d receive a compliment, I knew they weren’t just saying it, they meant what they said. One of my Dominican guy friends told me that I worked like a Dominican, and I’ve never been more honored to receive a compliment. I have never met a group of people that work harder.

This summer was life changing. I saw God work in so many cool ways. I learned to trust Him even when it seemed impossible. I learned to give up control over myself and those around me in a way that I had never done before(it’s still a learning process). At one point my best friend in the Dominican got extremely sick, like more sick then I’ve ever seen a person in my life, and that was the hardest part for me. To see her that sick was so terribly hard, but that was also where God taught me the most. I so strongly wanted to help her, but I was doing all I could and she wasn’t getting better. I couldn’t control it or help the situation and that was terrifying. I didn’t even have the power to get her gatorade when she needed it because I couldn’t drive or leave the place we stayed by myself. Seeing her get sicker and sicker was stressing me out so much and I felt so powerless to help that I was overwhelmed by anxiety. At one point I just had to be like ‘Okay God. I can’t control this and I’m going to stop trying.’ And I just felt like God was saying “HEY. Trust me. If you can trust me with Your life, you can trust me with Hanneh’s too.” And I had to release that. To recognize that God is in control and remember that He has shown me again and again how faithful and good he is. Of course He is qualified to take care of my dear friend.

I learned that even with 2 opposite cultures with different people, the Gospel unites us. Those few times we were able to worship in both English and Spanish were such a beautiful glimpse of the body of Christ. Worshipping our creator together. A first world country and a third world country, a country born from freedom and a country born from seeking freedom from slavery, an excessive and materialistic country and a humble and simple country. To witness these two groups of people coming together and singing reminded me of the verse that says ‘make a joyful noise unto the Lord,’ because that’s what it was – such a joyful noise. Words can’t even describe what it felt like standing there in awe of God’s power to unite such diversified cultures in glorifying Him.

I learned what it’s like to sacrifice everything for Jesus. My time, my comfort, my choice of what to eat and when to work out, the ability to purchase what I want and when I want it, my comfort, my relationships back home- I missed two of my friends weddings. But because of those sacrifices I got to see how good my God is. He is SO faithful. How he gives such good blessings. I made some lifelong friendships in the Dominican that would have never happened had I given in to my fear and not gone.

I learned how he uses us even when we feel like we’re giving nothing. He taught me that’s it’s not about me or how much effort I put into it, He is in control. Any and ALL growth comes from Him.

I was afraid I would be lonely this summer, but God blessed me with amazing friends who became like family to me. He gave me friends I could joke around and laugh with, sit down and cry with, and friends that encouraged me to follow and pursue God’s calling for my life, whatever that is.

He opened my eyes to the materialistic nature of Americans. We have so much and yet we continually desire more. I saw what it looked like to live in poverty and be completely content with it. I saw how easily Americans pity the Dominicans and what they have materially, when in reality the Dominicans are so much more content. The believers that I met and interacted with there recognize how blessed they are, regardless of their circumstances. I saw how easy it can be for Americans to see the Dominican as this culture that needs us so much, they need us to come do VBS for them, they need us to raise money for them, they need us to build chapels for them, they need us to evangelize to them, when honestly I think Americans are more impacted by the mission trips then the Dominicans. We need them to remind us how to live simply and joyfully. We need them to show us what true gratitude is like. We need them to teach us how to be content in whatever circumstances there are. We need them to remind us it’s not all about what we have, but who we have in our life.

I learned full dependence on the Lord in a way I had never experienced before. Honestly I think it’s much easier to depend on Him when you’re forced to that point. I realized that nothing else could sustain me other then the Lord. He continually gave me strength when I sought Him for it. I could not have survived this summer without Him and the friends He put in my life this summer.

I knew that the Dominican would become my relative home for the summer, but I never realized how much it would feel like home. How normal life would become there. Those random daily occurrences that became normal to me – like car alarms going off after it thunders, living in the city and hearing the city life and the disco all night, like the people and the culture and hearing Spanish, even how normal speaking the little Spanish I know was, not drinking out of the tap (it still kind of freaks me out back in America sometimes), taking the bus everywhere, constructing things, getting jugo de Cana at La Sirena every week, going to church in Spanish… It was all normal. It was home to me.

How do I explain it all?

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Be still.

dr be still blog

This week we had three different groups here! I wondered if it would be kind of hectic and disorganized with over 80 people, but the Lord definitely worked this week cause everything from construction to doing VBS at 4 different places went smoothly. I led the construction of the roof panels yet again (I’ve done this for the past 6 or 7 weeks). It’s alright though. I’ve done it so much I know how to do help my team get them done quickly and relatively efficiently.

I’ve done it so much that I like to start and work till they’re done. But sometimes that’s not how it works out. We had a lot of workers so work got done quickly. But there’s only 2 chop saws, so oftentimes the wood couldn’t be cut at the pace the panels were being constructed.

There was one day that I was consumed with finishing one side of the roof panels. We needed 18 left panels and 18 right panels. It was time to clean up but we only had one right panel left to do and I was just like – let’s go ahead and finish this! Come on! The team I was working with was willing, so we started getting it done. It was the fastest we had made one. We were like 75% of the way done when the guy that’s the head of the construction came over and informed me that we already had the needed 18 right panels.

Frick. I was so frustrated that I made my team work extra. That I had carelessly had them do extra work that we would then have to fix later. Failure is something I hate. I hate messing up. I like to do things right. I can remember the detailed stuff and how to construct it, but I had still made a mistake. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, but it bothered me a lot.

The next day, we were back at it again. But still, all the wood wasn’t cut, and I started getting a little antsy. I still really wanted to finish them already. I just wanted to get it done. And all of a sudden I just felt like the Lord was telling me – Be still. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and focus on the relationships here. Be still and focus on the people.

This is something the Lord is continually teaching me. Focus on the people. The groups we had this week were incredible. I loved each one. And I think part of that was cause I did try to focus on the people this week.